We are all used to looking at relationships with our minds. When we meet another person or even become familiar with another person without meeting him or her, our brains automatically notice lots of things about them. How do they appear? Do they seem nice and friendly? Are they happy or sad? Are they physically attractive? What is different or noticeable about this person? What do they do for a living or how do they spend their time? What do we have in common? We do this so fast and so thoroughly, that despite the fact that we do it with our minds, we don’t really think about it. But we can tell pretty quickly if this person is someone who is compatible or not.
But there is another layer that we also do automatically, and it’s also something we don’t think about. Because we also touch base through our heart, with our soul, to feel and know if this someone resonates with us.
Everybody does this. We “click” with certain people. We say someone has a certain vibe. Another person just makes you uncomfortable, and you can’t say why.
As one becomes more aware of our “soul-based operating mode” it becomes really interesting to notice this other layer of interaction that is occurring all the time. For many people, it’s still under the radar. But the more you pay attention, a whole new world opens up with a whole different understanding of what we do for each other as souls.
I now see every person as a blend of 1) who they are in this life as a physical human being born into certain circumstances, and 2) an eternal soul with their own special essence.
I went to see a speaker a couple of years ago. As I went to stand in line to check in, a woman did the same at that very same moment. There was a feeling of instant recognition – how fun it was that we were both there at that moment! We immediately laughed about that and felt comfortable and shared like old friends. On the surface, we didn’t have that much in common, yet we enjoyed learning about each other. We had a great day.
What’s interesting is that we only kept in touch for a short time. To my brain, it’s kind of strange that we didn’t keep in touch and become traditional friends. However, what I know is that during our one long phone conversation, she told me a story about her life that gave me a huge revelation/insight into something relevant to my life. My heart knows that we made this connection partly for this reason.
If my mind were the only part of me that were evaluating this situation, I might decide that I was wrong about her, that she really was just acting friendly, and she really wasn’t meant to be my friend. My mind might want to put her in a box of how a friend is supposed to be, and if she didn’t fit, then it might decide there was something wrong with her. Or maybe my mind would start to wonder what I did “wrong” that led to the disappearance of a relationship. Instead, I am extremely grateful for the connection that happened, and who knows? We may run into each other again, and I would be so happy to share that moment with her!! I don’t need to have expectations of a relationship at the soul level.
I also have some soul connections that have been facilitated through music. Few things speak to my soul better than the music and lyrics of Van Morrison, Jack Johnson, and ALO. The idea of a “soul family” feels like the best way to describe the connection I have, and I am not alone.
One experience really got my attention and got me thinking about this. Our family traveled to Maui in 2006 to attend the Kokua Festival. The entire trip seemed “charmed” – we were able to use points and miles for hotel and airfare, which always seems difficult otherwise, what with blackout dates and limited slots. When I went online to get tickets at the moment they went on sale, I was able to get 5 seats in the fourth row (how lucky was that?). And to top it off, after the show, we hung around, wondering if there was any way that we could meet Jack.
My husband noticed a door where people were going in and out, and said, let’s go over there. We went to the door, mentioned a guy we knew, and the person asked us who we were. We said our last name. (OK, yeah, right.)
And then he let us in. I still have no idea why.
So here we are, backstage, and we meet Jack. He is super nice to the kids, asking them their favorite song, and they are totally starstruck and speechless. And I find myself talking to him, one on one, and it was the most interesting feeling, a feeling that I have had a couple of times since. First of all, the experience definitely felt “guided.” There’s no way I was there without some divine intervention or alignment of the stars or something. Somehow, it was just clear that this meeting was about something deeper than words. Words seemed awkward. And to be clear, the feeling of closeness was like seeing a brother that you hadn’t seen in 40 years, and you had no idea how you could ever catch up in a few minutes, and you knew that’s all you would have. You were just glad to see each other and have that moment.
To experience this was, at the same time, the most comfortable thing I have ever experienced, yet the most disconcerting. There was access to a realm where so much energy and love is available, and you never knew it existed.
At this point, your mind may want to turn this into something familiar, something you can put in a box and dismiss. You’re just a groupie and you’re attracted to this guy, he’s famous and you think you’re so great and special that you think you are connected to him. That’s how the mind processes this kind of thing, because it makes no sense to the mind. My mind wants to label it, my Soul feels no need to do that.
On to another concert, this time ALO in New Jersey. I had become familiar with them because of Jack Johnson, so I took a couple of kids on a summer day and it was great fun. And I met a wonderful, open, friendly woman who remains a friend. She gave me some inside scoop on the guys, and introduced me to a couple other people there. This was my introduction to the family of ALOvers.
Nicole is someone I have come to admire greatly. She is doing great things in the world, and I love reading about her travels. I consider her to be soul family.
We run into each other from time to time. On the “who we are as physical individuals in this life” we don’t really have that much in common. So that can seem kind of weird to the mind, which likes to put us in places and with people who are “like us.” Yet, I have great love for her in a different, deeper way. She is a soul sister that I greatly appreciate. We don’t need to hang out (except occasionally at a concert) to have that bond.
My ALO family, including the guys, feels just like that, a family of brothers and sisters. Our specialty is caring deeply about brotherly love, while having fun and silliness.
As a matter of fact, I recently read an article that described the different words the Greeks used for love. One of the words was Ludus, and here’s what it said:
Ludus, or playful love
This was the Greeks’ idea of playful love, which referred to the affection between children or young lovers. We’ve all had a taste of it in the flirting and teasing in the early stages of a relationship. But we also live out our ludus when we sit around in a bar bantering and laughing with friends, or when we go out dancing.
Dancing with strangers may be the ultimate ludic activity, almost a playful substitute for sex itself. Social norms may frown on this kind of adult frivolity, but a little more ludus might be just what we need to spice up our … lives.
As I tried to research and read more, it became clear to me that I wasn’t going to get a good handle on those Greek words. But no matter.
The point is that there is a place for playfulness and fun in life. And as I thought about it, it’s true that many think this is folly and something to leave behind as we get older and serious about life. And I think that leaves a hole. The soul is all about the heart, and the heart is all about joy. What better way to experience joy, than play and banter and silliness and dancing??
So my conclusion about why my soul family loves ALO so much, is that we are all enjoying Ludus together. Fun, dancing, silliness, joy, smiles, caring, happiness – it’s a kind of love that just makes you feel good. It has nothing to do with romantic love or desire. It’s all about liberating that inner animal!!
I suspect that every person who is becoming more attuned to the desires of their Soul is finding their own way to experience joy, beauty, playfulness, and fun. To the mind, these experiences might seem out of control or weird. I should really act my age and stop embarrassing my kids, right?
And so, on the serious side, I also have soul connections in the form of friends that are very close. These are people that I can talk to about anything. We have a lot in common, similar lives and circumstances, and there is no doubt that we have been brought together to support each other. These connections are easy to recognize, but what is really amazing is how these connections deepen when you open yourself to them. We have exposed ourselves and our insecurities, our fears and our doubts, our discoveries and challenges, in a way that used to seem impossible.
As I step into a more heart-based way of living, it is these Soul Connections that reassure me that it IS possible.
And along the way, why not have some fun????
(I want to say a huge thank you to C for commenting and pointing me to this blog post:
I highly encourage reading it, and the links to the rest of the story. Awesome!)