Seeing the best in life's challenges

Your Perspective cannot be “Wrong”!

on March 20, 2012

When you feel something, it just is.  It is authentically your own emotional reaction.  Emotion is a natural part of being a human being.  Others may tell you that you “shouldn’t” feel this or that way, but the fact is that you do.   Feelings cannot, by definition, be “wrong.”

There is nothing wrong with you when you feel hurt, lonely, angry, scared, or whatever.  You are just being a normal person!

Unfortunately, many have bought into the idea that you “shouldn’t” feel certain ways.  Rather than acknowledging how they feel, they ignore, deny, and repress emotions, and then they feel guilty about it.  This is not healthy.

Just like your feelings cannot be “wrong”, the way you see the world cannot be “wrong.”  Your perspective is uniquely yours.  It will be different from almost every other human being in the world, sometimes in big ways and sometimes not so big ways.  Your perspective is based on your personal life experiences; no one else has lived your life, shared all your feelings, or faced the challenges you have faced.  So, of course you will have your own worldview!

There is nothing “wrong” with this!  Why would anyone want to ignore their own personal “story” and adopt a one-size-fits-all view of the world?  Why would we try to convince anyone else that they should see the world only from our perspective?

But people do this all the time.  They think they should see the world in the way they have been told to do so.  We learn to ignore our feelings, our experiences, our observations, our own conclusions, because we think we “shouldn’t” stray from the accepted paradigm that has been mapped out for us.

It is possible to share how we feel and our point of view, without pushing it on others.  But this is a skill that is rare.  But it’s not a hard skill to develop!

I would argue that the quality of the relationships we have with others can be highly dependent on how tolerant we are of the perspectives of others.  You don’t have to agree with them, but you can attempt to understand.

If you choose to listen to others, respect and accept their views, share your perspective with them without pushing yours, and basically treat them the way you would like to be treated, you will most likely be someone they like to spend time with.  You will most likely develop close relationships.  People will feel safe sharing with you.  They will feel understood.  And you will enjoy some lively discussion!

On the other hand, if you are so attached to your own perspective that you cannot bear to listen to others who don’t think like you, if you are a strong advocate for your own way of seeing the world, if you intimidate and manipulate others, don’t be surprised when other people avoid spending time with you!  Don’t be surprised when they clam up, and don’t expect them to share their innermost thoughts and dreams!

One response to “Your Perspective cannot be “Wrong”!

  1. […] move away from judgment and the mentality of “right” and “wrong”, how each person has their own unique perspective on the world that “just is”, and how some of the crazy behavior we are seeing “out there” […]

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