Seeing the best in life's challenges

“I Want Happiness”

This was posted on Facebook this morning by Positive Thinking:

Yesterday, at the photoshoot in Big Sur for my upcoming book release, my friend remarked that he’s seen me become so much happier over the years. Absolutely true, but only as a result of confidence gained in a particular discovery: Nothing can make me happy. 

As a child, I dreamed of becoming a world martial arts champion so vividly, I could hear the music being played, the lights shining in my eyes, the smell of the mats, the cheers from my team and audience. And when I had won, it wasn’t happiness, but closure that I felt, for I would no longer be plagued by the persistent specter of realizing that dream. The medals on my neck, yet the spontaneous happiness never manifested.

Coming from a trailer park, food stamp, blue collar upbringing, I felt compelled to become financially independent and never suffer the oppressive weight that my mother experienced providing for four children in an economy much worse than the current one, with no skills or opportunities but her hands and her courage. And yet with each new financial milestone achieved, not one thing made me happy. Financial success removed the childhood dread of impoverishment, but only like a removal of weight, not a presence of lightness. What now could make me happy?

Repeating my story of overcoming hardship, abuse, obesity, learning disability, joint disease, poverty, I fought for higher and higher levels of validation. Yet the more recognition I received from greater authorities, the federal agencies, the special units, the educational institutions, the halls of fame, magazines, and plaques, the more I recognized that these accolades did not bring me any happiness, but merely extinguished the oppressive weight of feeling invalid and unworthy. When I discovered that no one can determine my worth as a person, the compulsion for acknowledgement disappeared and left me unfettered, but still driven to help others do the same. Just no “happier.”

Nowhere (no place) could make me happy. When I was young, I thought I’d never “get out.” Yet, with each expanding circle of my adventures, to more exotic wonders around the world, no happiness could be found. Farther and more often I traveled, with my new family, to stunning landscapes surrounding the globe, and yet, as picturesque they might be, no sudden bliss erupted within. I got out, but I only wanted to “get back” to a place of trust.

A life of violence, abuse and abandonment can engender great fears and mistrust. Finding myself dissatisfied with the slippery veneer of most relationships, I searched for teachers, for friends, and for my own future family. And after decades and thousands, I found truly honorable and loyal family, around the world, and the most loving wife and children I could have imagined. And yet, even they could not MAKE me happy. Relieved. Confident that integrity isn’t an obsolete dinosaur, and relieved that substance and depth of love can be found, but not any happier.

In Hawaii, teaching for the Govt, something happened, though: my mind stopped. If you can imagine living with a deafening roar for a lifetime, and suddenly all went quiet, what shock this would hold. Others have remarked that I’m prolific in my work, but I experience it as being afflicted with an incessant muse: until I finalize the obsessive idea, it haunts me like an incomplete puzzle; I can’t sleep, focus or function unless I heed solving it. I don’t try and think about ideas. They just bubble to consciousness and assault me until I realize them.

My life has been so infused with this perpetual productivity, that when my muse went silent, initially I felt afraid, “What if it’s stopped forever! What if I have no more ideas? How will I contribute?” But in the gentle respite of that silence, I reflected that not one of my ideas has ever brought me happiness, only relief from their cessation, and then another would immediately barge in queue for attention like a hungry child demanding care.

It seems silly to timestamp happiness, but during that reprieve, I eased into the experience of ambition and desire dissolving away, and looked with clarity for the first time. What a wondrous journey of weight being unburdened from my awareness. Achieving my desires for recognition, success, independence, community, family did not MAKE me happy.

When the weight of those attachments lifted, I saw lucidly for a moment, and recalled a lesson one of my great teachers: When you say “I want to be happy”, remove the “I” who is desiring. Then, remove the “want” of your desires. Only happiness remains.

I, my personhood, became the circumstances which compelled predictable desires to which values strongly attached. When those lifted, when they went quiet, happiness was laying there as a mode of being, as a birdsong or an ocean wave. It just was. I couldn’t achieve it any more than I could capture music in my hands.

Words fail, and attachment to their success ensures their failure. But I never found a way to be happy… for happiness is the way.

Deepest love for all of you, the journeys and trials you face, and the “falls” when we have not yet realized, and when we forget that we live in the way… Happiness is.

Scott Sonnon

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Inspired Words

Did you ever hear something come out of your mouth, but you weren’t quite sure where it came from?  Did you ever write something, so easily and quickly, that it just flowed out of you?

A friend recently posted a poem he wrote, and described the process:

“I’ve never written a short piece that was accepted for publication as fast as this one, and I have no idea why it was. I had been out for drinks in the rain a couple of weeks ago with a friend on a Friday, fell asleep until 3-4AM and then woke up and wrote down what was in my head, as I do sometimes. What I wrote was more or less in this form as it is now.”

I had a similar experience when I wrote the poem I posted on November 21.  I feel like I can’t take credit for those words – they just came through me.  (And what’s even more interesting about that poem is that it is my fifth most popular post, in terms of the number of views.  Which is crazy because that’s the first month I was writing and I don’t think even my friends were reading yet!  But it must have touched someone out there.  That makes me smile.)

Inspired Words.

Some would refer to this process as “channeling” — although the examples above are instances that were not intended to be instructive, as some are.  I love Lee Carroll’s description of what channeling is, and how to approach channeled material.

About Channelling…

From Lee Carroll

I want to take this opportunity to speak of channelling in general. It is often misunderstood as something spooky and weird and I’ll bet you have certain friends that you would never tell.. that you were looking at this web page! Some feel it is evil, and many don’t want anything to do with it. They would rather stick to other information that isn’t channelled (they think).

Channelling Definition: The divine, inspired words (or energy) of God as imparted to Humans by Humans.

The above definition is what channelling actually IS. That means that not only were most of the sacred scriptures of the planet (all religions) channelled originally, but also much artwork and music too! It is absolutely commonplace, but like so many other re-emerging processes in the New Age, it has a stigma about it that is strange. God did not write the Bible… Humans did, while divinely inspired.

We have been used to having “authorized and sanctioned” men and women of God passing information to us… not the common folks. Therefore in this New Age, where the actual basic intent of the New Age Master of Love is beginning to surface (that of self enablement for those other than the priests of the land), we are seeing more and more “common folk” passing on the information of God.

Even in our own culture, we accept the letters from a common man to his friends in several cities in the Holy Land… as the sacred words of God! (This is how much of the New Testament of the Holy Bible was written.) Think about it. That’s channelling!

We believe that God did not stop speaking to humans 2,000 years ago. To think that God stopped communicating is to deny your own divinity, or to assign some special sacredness to the past, not feeling worthy to consider yourself part of God’s continued plan for an enlightened Earth. You are worthy of a continued communication with God… which I teach is actually a part of YOU!

But there is something that comes with channelling….


Anyone can channel, and Spirit is not proprietary in this regard. It’s for all Humans, and not just a few. Therefore the ability and potential exists for this attribute for us all. Like so many other things, INTENT of the human means everything. Not all channelling is given with PURE INTENT. Therefore, some is real, and some is not… and YOU should be able to tell the difference when you HEAR or READ it. Is it really from Spirit?

Many men and women are spouting verbiage these days, calling it inspired… some on web pages just like this. How can you tell if it’s real or not, since there is no organization telling you who is “OK” and who is not? (Aren’t you glad?)

The responsibility of a REAL channel is AWESOME. Sacred, anointed information can change lives! Self-serving egocentric and fearful information can be confusing and actually halt a person’s spiritual growth. How can you know the difference? Kryon tells us that we have the power of discernment to know, and that we will even be able to “feel” the difference.

For those of you who are still learning what that feeling is, I have some information that may help. It was published originally in New Realities magazine, July 1987… two years before I began channelling (how appropriate). The article is called “Guidelines for Spiritual Discernment.” Twelve (12) guidelines are shown in the article for the reader to watch for, both negative and positive. I believe this information is accurate, and was developed by enlightened Humans to teach other Humans.

Below I present Seven (7) of the twelve (as also presented in Kryon Book Six, “Partnering With God”).

The next time you sit before a channel or read a transcription, consider these seven items presented below. As you listen to or read the words of a channeller, also try to ask “what is the intent of the human speaking?” Is there any ego or Human agenda? If you detect it… then stop. There cannot be Human ego present for the information to be accurate and true. Spirit demands this of the channeller… I know. I also know from almost 20 years of live channeling experience that the message will ALWAYS be filled with love, and not fear. Watch for this!

Do you “recognize” the energy as familiar and feeling like “home?” This is another key. If you don’t, and you can’t identify with the entity or entities that are channelling through the Human, then perhaps you should pass on the message for now. Not all channelling is from an entity. Much of it comes form your own spiritual center. Don’t always try to determine “who” it is, asking for a name or trying to put skin and bones to it. Consider that your core is the Love of God… and is also able to give YOU messages for YOU.

IMPORTANT: Please take a moment to read the “four attributes of love” as presented in chapter one of the Kryon Book – Partnering with God. It will help you to understand an ego-less state… and some of the attributes of pure sacred energy.

Discern for yourself. What is happening? Messages from a human? … or messages from a loving and wise God? I expect and welcome this test for everything I write and speak as a channel for Kryon. It absolutely must stand up every time.

GUIDELINES FOR DISCERNMENT – New Realities Magazine – July 1987


1.            There will always be useful information for everyone. Beware of the channel that gives you useful information for only a few, or tells you that it’s only for a special group or a sequestered number. It must be useful for ALL humanity, every single Human. This is an area of discernment allowing you to know you are hearing the truth.

2.            The message should be uplifting. Watch for an empowering message – NOT ONE OF FEAR, not one that drags you down – not one that makes you want to take fearful action or hide – but an enabling message! This is a staple of God energy. It must be there. It should inspire the listener and reader. Every recorded angel appearance before a Human Being has begun with “Fear not!”

3.            Spirit (God) will never, ever channel a message that asks you to give up your free will. Never! For your free will is what your experience on Earth is all about as you sit in your “chairs of gold” (a metaphor created in Kryon Book Six). Free will! FREE CHOICE is what drives your future.

4.            Spirit will never give you a message – ever – that asks you to violate the integrity of what you believe. You are honored in your thought processes. Spirit will never trick you or “talk you” into anything. The message must never violate your integrity. You must feel comfortable with it, and it must ring true to your heart.

5.            Spirit will never represent a channeller as being the only source. Watch for this, for there are many channels of Spirit and they all coordinate their information to create a bigger picture, especially in this New Age. They will NEVER represent themselves as the ONLY source of information.

6.            Watch for the fact that the information is normally new information. Beware of the channel that simply re-hashes the old, for they are not channelling anything but the ego of the Human Being. New information is necessary, combined with “core information,” it is the entire reason for the channel. Think about it.

7.            Watch for the fact that channelled information should have spiritual solutions presented. Solutions to life challenges on Earth, via new information, is the purpose of channelling.

Offered in Love,

Lee Carroll

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Proud, or Protective?

This is a really good example of why I choose to remain anonymous when I write.  To my friends, it’s no secret who I am.  But I choose not to use my name, because I want to be able to write about people I know, without being TOO obvious who I am writing about.  It’s a fine line.  But I want the focus to be on the situation, and how we think about it.  I am not looking for notoriety for me, or for anyone else.

So let’s just say, theoretically, that I heard about a situation at a local festival.  Some have said this festival just doesn’t feel like it used to.  Stuff happens.  Parents don’t know whether they should let their kids go or not.  There’s lots of supervision by police, but still…

So, I know this kid who was there on a Saturday night, with a few friends.  The story goes, that he saw a younger kid who goes to his school.  This younger kid was being dragged along by a group of over 10 kids to a nearby park just outside the festival.  The group moving him along was asking him about his stuff – and he is a kid who probably had some good stuff on him.

Now stop, parents, and think about this scenario.  What if your kid was the one in trouble?  What if your kid was the one seeing this happen?  Do we talk to our kids about what to do in these kinds of situations?

Over the weekend, I was talking to the mom of twin girls who are 11.  She was telling me how she always tells them, “look, there are 2 of you, you should always stick up for the kid getting picked on.“  She said they talk about how other girls might not like that, but it’s the right thing to do.  Lesson:  There is power in numbers.

So back to my story.  The kid doing the observing is 2-3 years older (and bigger) than the group he is observing.  So, he goes up to the group and says, “Hey, what’s going on here?”  The kid in trouble runs away, and the smaller group, well, gangs up on the older kid, who covers his face, puts his elbows out, but doesn’t punch back.  Then a friend of the group comes up from behind and sucker-punches him in the nose.

The kid who has just been punched finds the cops, tells them the story, and they tell the offenders to leave the festival.  Several days later, the damage:  two slightly black eyes, but no broken nose.

So, parents, what’s your first reaction?  Are you proud or protective?

The proud parent’s take on this:  We live in the real world.  Stuff happens.  When you see someone in trouble, you help them.  You don’t need to escalate the situation.  And tell whoever’s in charge if there’s a problem.

The protective parent’s take on this:  Stay out of it.  Keep your nose clean.  Avoid situations where there might be trouble.  If there’s any question, don’t even go there. You are never going to that festival again!

As parents, we don’t want our kid involved in trouble.  We don’t want them hurt.  What if those kids had a knife, or a gun?  These are not easy situations, and I bet we all see both sides.

FYI, after the incident, the kid that was in trouble said that as he was being dragged along, he said a prayer, and then, out of nowhere, the bigger kid appeared.  He has been texting the bigger kid thank you’s ever since.

Now, I’ll admit it.  I’m a proud mom.  And I’m trusting God to take care of the protection issue.



An Open Mind Challenge

Think of this one as a game to play, a mind exercise, an opportunity to observe yourself.

Some people like taking on challenges more than others.  Many people like to” play it safe.”  How much are you willing to push yourself, to go outside of your comfort zone?  How soon will the fear of the unknown stop you in your tracks?

WHAT are you really afraid of?  How uncomfortable are you with venturing out into the unknown?  How different is TOO different?

An open mind is invaluable.  But a completely open mind is rare.  The few who in the past have dared to question the status quo have suffered the consequences.  The examples from science seem obvious to us now, but hindsight makes it all seem too easy, i.e. the earth is not flat.

So, are you ready to “play scientist?”  Take a look at something with only curiousity, and no fear?  Consider, then make your own conclusion?  Put yourself through an “experience” and arrive at the other side, saying only “hmm, that was interesting.”

Can you watch this with an open mind?



Yay!  I got it to work!  So, what do you think?



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If You Must Forecast, Forecast Often

OR:  Prophecy vs. Potentials

When I worked in the Research Department of a large real estate investment firm, we had to do a lot of forecasting — annual increases in rental rates, the Consumer Price Index, vacancy rates, measures of economic growth.  We knew the truth of that statement:  If you must forecast, forecast often. 

It’s the same situation any time you are looking into the future.  You have to take all the data you have, make your best guestimate of what is likely to happen, and then settle on a prediction.  Even if you have a sophisticated computer model, the old saying holds true: Garbage In, Garbage Out.  Your results are only as good as your data.  In the real world, that data changes, so you have to keep updating your forecast if you want to be as accurate as possible.

The same holds true for forecasting the weather.  When I was taking meteorology classes in the early 80s, the models only attempted to go out five days.  Now they forecast much further into the future.  But still, if you are depending on a weather forecast, not only do you check it the day before, if you are like me, you watch the real-time satellite images to see what’s headed your way. 

If we’re talking about human behavior, the same guidelines hold true.  You might have a really good idea of how your best friend will react to bad news, based on her personality and her belief system.  But if you show up to tell her this bad news, and realize she is drunk, or just had a really hard day at the office, or just found out her dad died, well, that new information will change what is likely to happen when you tell her, IF you still decide to share whatever bad news you have.

All that makes sense, right?

So now I want to ask you this:  If a prediction about the future of the human race were made, say 2000 years ago, then it was probably based on the most likely potentials at the time, right?  If that potential outcome was not optimal, and came with warnings and suggestions on how to avoid the outcome, that would make sense, right?  Whoever was wise and sophisticated enough to make that kind of prediction, would be basing the forecast on the best available data at the time.

A lot can change in 2000 years.  A lot can change in 100, 50, even 10 years.  So, you wouldn’t consider an “old” forecast to be inevitable, right?

Then why, please explain to me, do people still cling to the prophecies of Armageddon and the End of the World with such hopelessness?  As if there is nothing we can do to change the potentials? 

The Soviet Union is no longer — the Bear is gone.  The Berlin Wall fell.  The world didn’t end at the Millenium.  It’s not going to end in 2012. 

If you watch the news, they will try to convince you that the world is still all about doom and gloom.  Old habits die hard.  Plus, fear is a powerful tool. 

Step back and think about how the world has changed over the past 50 years.  It is not the same place.  Collectively, we have made the world a better place.   That should make us hopeful, but not complacent.

Never underestimate the power of even the smallest of gestures to make a difference.  Watch the movie It’s a Wonderful Life.  George Bailey had no idea of the impact he made.  One smile, one kind gesture, one act of charity, multiplied by thousands or millions of people will have exponential positive effects. 

We have already changed the potentials.  Why stop now?

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Pure Intent

I have a friend who is one of those people who has amazing things happen to her all the time.  Those of us who know her, are no longer surprised by her “Moments” — we wouldn’t expect any different!

She’s very clear about why things happen for her.  It’s really pretty simple.  She is a woman of Pure Intent.

She is very matter-of-fact about her faith and her perspective.  She has a strong faith in God and only asks that He use her in whatever way He sees as best.  She keeps herself open to situations that present themselves to her, and goes with them.  She truly wants what is best for all, and has no selfish agenda or expectations.

Others might see this as wishy-washy or flaky – she has changed jobs more than you are “supposed to.”  She has left the “dream job” when it wasn’t working.  She has no regrets – she does the best she can in each moment, and looks to the future with a smile.

She makes a practice of empowering others.  She smiles and laughs a lot.  I could tell her anything, and she would not judge me.  She would not hold back from telling me what’s on her mind.

How do you pray?  Probably most people know that we are not supposed to pray for “stuff,” as in material things.  But many times people pray for what they want – for situations to resolve in certain ways, for sick people to get better, for wars to end, etc.  Even with the most unselfish agenda – it’s still an agenda with expectations.

Usually people pray for “good” things.  But God uses the “bad” as well as the “good,” the tough as well as the easy. That can be a hard thing to accept.  But it’s not really faith if you can’t accept the whole package.

Does it seem impossible to have Pure Intent?  I don’t really think it’s that hard – you just have to start somewhere.

First, you have to decide that you want to pursue that path.  And then you pray in a way that is very simple, with no agenda.

In your own words, just ask God to use you in whatever way is in the best interest of all.  Ask for support and guidance in making decisions and living your life.  Ask for greater understanding and comfort with the way things are.  That’s pretty much it.  Then, let your ego step back, and enjoy the ride!

Ironically, when a person truly has Pure Intent, good things happen for them.  They might not be exactly the things that were expected – usually they are even better.

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Always Be Nice!

Everybody likes nice people.

But what does it mean to be “nice,” anyway?  We know it when we see it, but how would you describe a nice person?

Here’s my list of what “nice” meant to me growing up:

Be kind.

Don’t cause problems or conflict.

Don’t criticize.  If you don’t have something nice to say, say nothing at all.

Don’t hurt another’s feelings.

Do what you can to get along with others.

Don’t complain if it’s not really important.

Be grateful for what you have.

Have a positive attitude.  Smile.

Be encouraging of others.

Put others before yourself.  Don’t be selfish.

Put yourself in the other person’s shoes.

My mom’s mantra was “Always Be Nice.”  We would roll our eyes when she said it, but if you ask me, I would say that I agree with what she was saying.  It’s a good thing to be nice.

I was a nice kid.  I did get along with everyone.  I didn’t make waves or question authority or cause any trouble or stir anything up. I grew up in a nice family, with nice parents and grandparents, and nice sisters.  My extended family growing up was nice, too.  Nice, nice, nice.  I was lucky to have a happy childhood, free of almost any conflict.

For as long as I can remember, I always thought, why doesn’t everyone see that if we were all just kind and nice to each other, the world would be so much better for everyone?  If we just put the Golden Rule into practice?

Nice people tend to give others the benefit of the doubt, and assume that others are nice, too.  But that’s not always the case.  And therein lies the problem.

I will always make it a priority to be nice.  But I have learned, through living life, that not everyone in the world has this approach.

Being nice works really, really well when you are surrounded by other nice people.

And isn’t that true about any homogenous group of people?  It’s easy to get along with people that are all the same.  If you surround yourself with people that are “like you” then you don’t have to think too much, you can assume that everyone has the same values and opinions, likes to do the same kinds of things, etc.  It’s safe to stay within your own group and not have to question much of anything.

The challenge is to get along or even just to co-exist with people that are different.  Our world is full of diversity, and getting along with all kinds of people is a necessity if you are going to thrive in the real world.

Can you be too nice?  I think the answer is yes.  This subject area is a primary life lesson that I have worked on and learned a lot about.

Learning to Just Say No.  Nice people tend to be tolerant and submissive.  They tend to go along and get along.  They are “pleasers.”  Avoidance of conflict can get to the point where nice people find themselves in situations with other people that are uncomfortable.  These situations tend to develop over time, and nice people can find themselves dug into a hole because they never set limits.

I know I had to learn not to over-commit to activities.  I have always been involved in “causes” and organizations, from being involved in student government, sports and other activities in high school, to my sorority in college, to Junior League, to volunteering at my kids’ schools, to political campaigns.  Because I had a hard time saying “no”, at times I would find myself without enough time in the day to do everything, something would slip, and I would disappoint others.  Since I didn’t set limits, I made things worse, because I might leave someone else in a bind.  I still hate saying no, but I make myself be realistic about what I can handle, and I don’t end up disappointing others.

Learning to Speak Up or Disagree. Marrying into a family of very straightforward, sometimes brutally honest people has been a very good thing for me.  There is a fine line between being Too Nice and being Dishonest.  If you don’t speak up, how can you blame the other person for not understanding where you’re coming from?  You can’t fault others for not being empathetic (or reading your mind).

Being around people who are strong self-advocates, who are clear about what they want, can sometimes be overwhelming for a “nice” person.  I have developed the ability to disagree with others who have strong opinions, without getting nasty about it.  Interestingly, my 3 kids are born self-advocates, so they have helped me with this lesson as well.

Learning to Deal with Conflict.  If nice means “avoid conflict” then there will be problems.  Life is full of conflict.  You can pretend the conflicts don’t exist, but we all know they will only get worse unless you face them and deal with them.  Developing communication skills is a huge help with this.  Being clear and making myself understood are “nice” strategies to deal with conflict.  Learning how to “agree to disagree” is an invaluable skill.

Learning to be a Self-Advocate. One problem is that nice people can become targets.  The extreme examples are the kids who get molested, who are targeted because they are weak and needy and unlikely to speak up.  But nice people also get taken advantage of by friends, co-workers, and significant others.  Sometimes nice people can get lost when immersed in the “real world”.  This might be at work, in social situations, or with extended family.  They end up doing more work, taking on more responsibility, and fixing more problems than their fair share.

I had to learn to speak up and advocate for myself in situations where my interests were not being considered.  This used to be very uncomfortable for me, because I didn’t have experience dealing with conflict growing up.  Practice has made me much better at this.

Nice people can tend to get very agitated when other people aren’t being nice.  They think that nice people are good and people that aren’t nice, well, they aren’t so nice and they are hard to understand.  Nice people can have a hard time dealing with others who take a different approach and just wish everyone was nice like them.

The thing is, everyone is different, and there are lots of approaches to life.  I can’t expect everyone to make “being nice” their highest priority.  Others may see “being honest” as the greatest virtue.  There are as many approaches to life as there are people.

So it all comes down to balance.  As I’ve grown from my own life experience, I’ve developed my own style of interacting with others.  I still make “being nice” a priority, but I am much more straightforward and honest, in a gentle way.  I am much more thoughtful about my own limitations and careful not to just say yes or agree to do something because I am trying to avoid conflict or just be nice.  I pay attention to whether I am being over-asked to take on responsibilities by others who aren’t doing their part.  I don’t get involved in situations I don’t agree with.

Now that I have developed a more “blended” style of being, I notice how uncomfortable direct honesty can be for some very nice people, even when that honesty is presented gently.  They can assume that there is an agenda behind the directness, or they may just not be used to what feels like conflict.  It can be very hard to communicate directly with some nice people I know.

And a strong nice person can be very frustrating for those who are used to pushing nice people around.  I just smile and stand my ground.

For me personally, this is what my Garden of Power and Love looks like.  I needed to embrace Strength as well as Niceness and blend the two in a way that uses the best of both.  It’s something I continue to work on and refine.



Hypocrisy and the Phases of Discontent

Hypocrisy makes me uncomfortable.  It used to make me really angry and frustrated.  Now, I’ve just accepted that it’s part of life, something that has its place, something to learn from.  But it’s still uncomfortable.  I don’t like being around it.

I just sat through a middle school graduation ceremony.  The words that were spoken were very nice.  Words about learning lessons, being honest, being a self-advocate, words about growing, words about honor.

If I knew nothing else about this school, I would have left with a really good feeling, hopeful about how we’re educating our kids.

And maybe it’s better that most of the people there today are ignorant of some of the things I know.  Ignorance is bliss, I understand that.

Here’s just one example.  I know a kid who, years ago, worked his butt off in seventh grade Geography at this school, a notoriously tough class, meant to push kids to learn to read a textbook and study on their own.  It’s one of those legendary classes everybody talks about surviving.  This kid actually did really well, and he did it all on his own.  It felt like an accomplishment and he got a lot out of that class.  Still speaks very highly of that teacher.

But I remember that there were students who were getting 100s on the tests, even at the beginning of the year.  Something just didn’t feel right.

Turns out, when another kid I know was in that class the next year, an interesting discovery was made.  Each test was EXACTLY the same test as the year before.

Turns out, the families that had older siblings at this school had quietly figured this out.

Now, some would say, that’s just how the world works, it’s every man for himself.  School is highly competitive, and you’ve gotta do what you’ve gotta do.  I’m not so naïve that I don’t realize this is a prevalent worldview.  And I don’t even blame or condemn those who see the world this way and act on it.

I do wonder if that teacher is aware that some students figured this out.  Does it seem strange to him that some students get 100s on his tests right off the bat?  Does he just assume they are good at studying?  Does he know what’s going on, and just doesn’t care?  Maybe he thinks it is impossible that these kids would risk cheating.  But is it really cheating?  Certainly it’s unfair for some kids to have access to old tests, while others don’t, but for example, many college professors expect students to study from old tests.  But then, usually those tests aren’t exactly the same as the test that is given.  Maybe this is just part of the greater lesson, to be savvy and take any advantage you can get.  I’m sure I’ll never know all the intricacies of who knew what and when, and that really doesn’t matter to me.

It just irked me today to sit and listen to all the talk about honor and honesty, and to hear that the two kids who got all A’s in their middle school career (and obviously got A’s in Geography) are both kids who have  older siblings at the school.  Look, they are both nice kids and good students, but it just felt ironic.

My kids no longer attend this school.  It’s called voting with your feet.  We’ve moved on.

Personally, I do not tolerate hypocrisy well.  I have a very hard time with people and places that act one way, and then are very vocal about being another way.

The lesson I took away from my interactions with this school are really about how we work through situations where we are at odds with what’s going on.

I’ll call these the Phases of Discontent:

Phase I:  Get angry, frustrated, and vent about how bad it is.  This is great for emotional release, which is a very necessary and human thing to do.  We all sometimes need this (and it’s part of the reason I’m writing this today).  But this becomes a problem when a person gets stuck here and doesn’t move on.

Are you involved in situations where every time you get in a discussion about something or someone, the group just rants about how wrong it is?  Nothing brings people together like a common enemy.  That’s a good thing to be aware of.

Phase II:  Speak up and try to change things.  The world needs people who will speak up.  Maybe no one is aware of the problem, and as soon as they are, everything will change.  Maybe it’s a tough problem, maybe even more complicated than it first appears, and people will work to make improvements.   Now you are working on solutions.

But sometimes, it is clear that the “powers that be” are too invested in their current perception of the way things are.  Maybe they have no interest in change.  There are places that cannot self-question.   Places that hate whistleblowers.  You encounter resistance to your efforts at improving things.  You have hit a brick wall.

Phase III:  Move on or choose to stay anyway.  Understand the lessons you have learned.  Understand that this place/situation apparently needs to exist so that others can learn lessons from it.  Maybe the time just isn’t right yet.  Or maybe you have set changes in motion, but things will change more slowly than you can tolerate.

Know when to let go.

It’s also ok to choose to stay involved.  But be aware of what you have decided and why.  It’s your decision, and if you don’t like it, then you can change that decision!   Of course you can choose to stay, and then go right back to Phase I and complain about it if that’s what you decide to do.  Or you might just figure that the pros outweigh the cons of staying and that you just have to stick it out.

To me, this cycle is a good illustration of how we grow through situations and challenges.  In this particular case, I’m content that I have completed my lessons there.  And that’s a relief.

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Midnight in the Garden of Power and Love

In all the exploring and reading I’ve done over the past couple of years, this article resonated with me much more than most:

Issue # 59: Earth-Keeper Chronicles – April 6, 2011

“Midnight in the Garden of Power and Love”

Archangel Metatron via James Tyberonn


“Greeting Beloved, I am Metatron, Lord of Light. I greet you all in Unconditional Love!!

Masters, your life is a magnificent journey of ever continuing exploration.

Many of you in metaphysics are familar with the term, “Take your Power, stand in your Truth.

Indeed this is appropriate, for Love does indeed require a necessary component of great strength. Both power and love are sciences and arts that many of you have devoted many lifetimes to learning. You have had lifetimes devoted to servitude to learn the aspects of love, and in the process put others before the self, and in the process the frequencial aspect of self love, self worth were somewhat misunderstood, and diminished.

You have had many lifetimes devoted to developing love and developing strength. Oft these became quite polarized. In bringing the two together, the nuances of power must be refined and indeed shifted. You see, within these the retrieval of what may be termed soul fragmentation may be faced and brought through great effort into Mer-Ka-Nic harmony.

And then Dear Ones, when the two segments of Power and Love are integrated, another process of refining the two incurs, and it is complex.

That refinement then, is the ‘Garden of Power and Love’, and it requires the extreme distillation of knowledge into wisdom.

You see every level of advancements creates a new paradigm, and each new paradigm brings with it more complex puzzles to solve. Certainly the challenges facing one on the verge of Mastery, are far different and far more complex than one in the initial stages of life in duality.

Polarity of Love & Power

And so then it is inevitable that as your reach accelerated stages, you will be forced to make choices that are less immediately apparent. These are oft no longer obvious choices between what may be termed ‘love & hate’ or ‘good and evil’ in the subtlest of manners, the choices shift between LOVE and POWER. Each gain achieved, carries you into higher realms, higher dimensions, and indeed the polarity paradigm differs in each new stage.

You see, Love and Power are perhaps the most compelling and complex of life lessons. True Power exists within the gracefulness of LOVE. But the seeming paradox is that Love also requires the strength of will to complete it in duality.

Midnight in the Garden of Power and Love

So Masters, we tell you that in your advanced completionary path, each of you will face a juncture, a defining yet subtle directional choice that will either take you forward or circle back to again to the same decisional crossroad. It is not the simple choice between evil and good, but rather the choice between illusionary Power and the true path of Love. And so very very often, the path of illusion is taken long before it is realized. It is because what is appropriate for one level of growth, once completed, is not necessarily best suited for the next.

There are certain intermediate sojourns in which the requisite for developing strength of will was indeed the right choice. It was a ‘true or false’ selection, but now the testing becomes far more complex. It is a multiple choice question with an essay…and all of the choices contain some of the answer. But only one contains your full Truth.

The dawning of 2012 is the quickening, the eleventh hour before the midnight of the illuminating morn. It is Midnight in the Garden of Power and Love.

In the crucible of the Ascension, the forks in the road are not always two pronged. A singular path can open to multiple intersections, and none of them are clearly marked.

Accordingly many of you in advanced sojourns have series of lifetimes (within multidimensional time holograms) that follow succinct purpose around the focused study of Love and Power, either one or the other. These lifetimes can become drastically different & separate sequences of experience, and many of you are now in the task of joining the two in final stages of lessoned growth.

In other words, there are specific lifetime quests of learning to create power responsibly that are paralleled within two separate series devoted to learning the aspects of LOVE in one string, and Power in another.

Often these two take such different ‘soul paths’ that the earthly expressions and experimentations of these two contrast so powerfully that what may be termed soul fragmentation can and does occur.

As a case in point, many of you have a series of lifetimes in the ‘cloth’. Lifetimes of servitude in the realms of monkhood, sisterhood, and priesthood et cetera, where the focus is learning the humility and benefit of serving others in open loving nature.

And then you also, in what often expresses itself quite differently, have a connective string of sojourns in explorations of power, where you are in key leadership roles. These lifetimes can be as rulers, leaders in government & commerce, members of ruling dynasties and people of immense commercial wealth.

It is an interesting aspect in the filters of duality that your personality expressions in these two parallel studies often are so starkly dissimilar and contrasting that there is a separation of consciousness polarity between the two. This occurs in somewhat the same fashion, albeit of different purpose in your male/female sojourns. Humans tend to consider that most of their lifetimes are either male or female. Most males in humanity do not recognize or relate to the many lifetimes they have lived in female form, and vice-versa. It is a 3d separation.

And so this differential occurs even more potently in your lifetime strings of learning responsibility of Power and learning the nuances of Love. Both are so comprehensive that completely different environmental and astrological patterning is chosen for these two polar lessons, and a ‘soul chasm separates the two that necessitates bringing them back together.

Lifetimes of Servitude & Lifetimes of Learning Power

So as we have stated, because you all need to learn how to love and also to create responsibly, you plan & have total separate lifetime strings in Power ‘set-ups’ and Love ‘set-ups’ in which the focal study and experience can become so vastly different that they become extremely polarized.

Personalities within each evolve so differently in some cases that what may be termed a soul fragmentation or soul polarization seemingly occurs within the multidimensional holograms of your ‘lifetimes’. Some of you would be quite shocked at the extremities. Many of you in your spiritual contexts would feel repulsed by the personality expressions you have experienced in learning power, and vice versa. Thus the ‘soul fracture….yet all must be harmonized and ‘retrieved’ and reconciled into soul harmony. The good in each must be chosen, and that which does not serve released.

This retrieval and harmony can and must occur. A process of this is taught in the Mer-Ka-Va phase, the second level of the Mer-Ka-Na Crystalline Light Body as well as the third.

Because as you reach the more complex stages of lifetimes then, you blend the two life streams, and this is among the most complex of puzzles, and one of the last pieces required for true Mastery.

And so as you retrieve the soul, and many of you are doing that NOW, you will blend the 2 chains of studies into the present experience. This presents a great challenge, for at times you will come to algorithmic ‘forks in the road’ along the pathway of enlightenment where you must choose between two directions.

A fork in the road appears that will seem to you to be right in either direction. The fork is between Power and Love, and both dear ones are necessary. So the decision is which takes precedent, and that lesson is among the most difficult you will encounter.

Love does not mean allowing someone else to step on your foot, and Power does not mean stepping on others feet who are ‘in the way’ when you are sure you are right.

The Double Edge of Leadership

For those who achieve influential authority in spiritual leadership, the decision process becomes so much more critical, for responsibility to enact the truth is required to keep what has been learned. Influence, Dear Ones, is the double edged sword of spiritual leadership and it must be tempered and ever wielded in wisdom.

All of you are sparks of Creator. All of you are family composed of Divine Mind. So remember as you move forward, to realize that love is a frequencial key that can never be forgotten. Yet there will be times when all humans do forget. And I speak to all of you herewith.

Walking your talk is imperative in spiritual leadership. Yet, as you move forward the pitfalls are more difficult to see, and there may be times when you are less patient with others of different mindset, of lesser advancement. And that in itself is a set-up of trial and growth.

We beseech you to not put yourself on a throne, and do not forsake those who abide in what may appear to you as the dimmer recesses of heart and mind. Do not so quickly condemn those that attempt to cast doubt on you or point fingers for the errors of others even when the accusers refuse to see the faults within themselves.

And while we recognize this is easier said than done, do not turn away from conflict so quickly and self righteously that your haste and knee jerk reaction blinds you to a greater truth. Take time to self review, and do so from a stance of dispassion. Does not one of your ‘Four Agreements tell you to “Never take anything personally?” There is indeed wisdom in this.

We will share another pearl of acumen, and take a moment to deeply consider this: Wisdom does not automatically occur thru the mere collation of knowledge, regardless of how vast. Rather it comes through the intense distillation of experience and self review in pure unbiased thought.

True wisdom can only occur in states of non emotional examination of your experience via your own inner third- person stance! And to do this you must filter out the untoward unconscious beliefs associated with experience in 3 dimensional mind. Do you understand? It is a conceptual shift.

Indeed all of you will at certain points encounter this conceptual shift as a subjective experience of clear mind when you access the fifth dimension. It will enter as a pure unbiased thought and feel like a refreshing invigorating wave. It is a fifth dimensional vibrational matrix that each of you must recognize and then nurture. For it is the mechanism that removes you from the gilded cage of hidden ego-aggrandizement. And when you blend lifetimes of Power and Love all of you will have certain obstacles to clear, that you have not understood were blockages at all because in 3d lesson, they may have served you to get to a certain point of growth.

This will inevitably occur as you retrieve your life-streams of Power and Love into oneness. It will occur as a moment of clarity. It enters in a crystalline wave, a blue tsunami in a field of seeming superconductivity explored and experienced within Mer-Ka-Na.

The Unending Journey of Integrity

But this achievement requires focus and effort in unification. As we have told you so many times, spiritual growth and spiritual leadership is a journey and not a destination. It requires constant self review and recalibration to maintain.

So many through the aeons of time have faulted when the power of leadership leads to ego imbalance. For indeed the steed of POWER can blind and unseat the rider and lead in its speed into rocky paths and untoward grounds.

All of you will be tempted by the seduction of power, all of you…especially when notoriety and celebrity come into play. When the self aggrandizement of ego enters, it oft does so as if through a back window left open, and is unnoticed, unrecognized, because it was not your intent.

The tell-tale marking is revealed when being ‘right’ takes on greater importance than love. And Masters, often the weave of ego into the energy field is so subtle that the fall is unseen by the individual. How many of your wars have been fought in downward spiraled destruction by so called religious factions, fighting over the dogma of what is ‘sacred’, and whose Truth is the real Truth.

Masters, humility is the key. Never take yourself so seriously that you lose sight of your own humanity within duality.

The Spiritual ‘Peter Principle’

We tell you, imbalanced ego is inevitably the culprit that creates, in your vernacular, the spiritual ‘Peter Principle’.

Your ‘Peter Principle’ in business and managerial aspect, states that one can rise to ones level of incompetence. That what gets you promoted on one level, gets you fired on the next! In a slight juggling of syntax, we tell you that in Spiritual Growth, humans often rise to their level of inexperience, and that inexperience can frequently lead to a temporary fall from grace.

When ego leads to arrogance an electrical short circuitry occurs in the base level of the auric field. The requisite 13-20-33 circuitry is then disconnected, the ‘signal’ of clear communication to higher self is lost, displaced by varying waves of static and interference.

Power is a great seduction and temptation. So many metaphysical and spiritual leaders become addicted to adulation. And when this occurs a subtle shift occurs in which they lose 13-20-33 circuitry and not only become ‘stuck’ they actually become ‘energy takers’ in a downward spiral.

A shadow falls between the edges of the middle road in how to maintain the perfect balance of love & power with ego and humility. Love must always be the key, and the ultimate wisdom is learning that surrender to Love carries tremendous Power, and that is Power in its highest form. But hearing the words of Truth is not the same as learning & experiencing TRUTH.

So as you progress, it is truly a gift that trial and error allow you to see your missteps. Each of you will make mistakes, but in these errors of growth it is imperative to always be gentle with yourselves, and also be nurturing of others along their paths. We tell you in certainty that when you review your lives at later stages of retrospect you will be in awe of the journey you have taken. You will marvel at the seeming hardships and personal trials and retrospectively wish you had been more aware of the beauty of all around you, and delighted at the serendipitous juxtapositions of the intricate tests that seemed most difficult. So take time in the NOW, as you move forward to simply delight in your BEINGNESS.

Discernment is Key to Mastery

There are many in metaphysics who carry a great deal of spiritual knowledge who develop the urge to share that knowledge. While this in itself is a positive attribute, it is also necessary to avoid the ego trappings of ‘Spiritual One Upsmanship’ and ‘Guruship’. It is correct to make known the mystery, yet each must use individual discernment to find their own inner voice. The time of the guru is passed. Each of you are now compelled to be your own guide. Discernment is key. If it does not resonate, then reject it.

The goal is to develop the Divinity within self. The goal is not to ‘channel Ascended Masters or Angelics’ rather to channel your own inner Divinity. To be clear, there are indeed souls who channel Ascended Masters and Angels, but this cannot be achieved without first channeling the Divinity of SELF, and access to the Master within you is all that is ever needed or required. Ye are GODs!

And so we end this assay in acumen of TRUTH: Individual discernment is ever the key, for one man’s truth may be another man’s folly. And the manner in which you harmonize multiple TRUTHS is a great test of spirituality.


Certain life- times are more strategically aligned for quantum leaps.  You are in such an alignment in the present. Accordingly, the present experience for many of you is more poised for critical gain. The myriad frequencial resonances and embellished energies of the Ascension make this so.

Your sojourns upon the Earth are a marvelous opportunity to discover and to explore what is within and without you. You are on an exquisite odyssey of algorithm. The third dimension serves to assist you in moving higher, and thus works hand in hand with the algorithmic puzzle by facilitating and prompting the outward manifestation of inner spirit through frontal mind.

The octaves available in the third dimension are highlighted in your initial tarriance and campaigns of the EarthPlane. But as you progress the third dimension must give way to the higher crystalline octaves of the fifth dimension for true advancement toward Mer-Ka-Nic ‘harmonic enlightenment’.

As each of you progress in spirit and wisdom the path quickens into more challenging & complex sojourns, and the polarity shifts in kind . The forks in the road become less polarized in the obvious demeanor. The clarity between black and white becomes a bit more shaded in gray, and greater thought is required to differentiate the true path of Mastery.

The greatest Power is the Power of Love. Love yourself and love one another, for the unity of LOVE is a great and beautiful accomplishment for mankind in micro and macro. Masters know that we are ever with you and we ever honor you on this incredible journey.

I am Metatron, Lord of Light, and I share with you these Truths.”

… And so it is.

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Last modified: 01/01/2012 19:02:32